johnjamessite

The Anatomy of a Hun

The Anatomy of a Hun

There are times when sexual epithets such as ‘total tit‘ or ‘complete fanny‘ do not go far enough to describe the brain-curdling incompetence and insidious bias of Keith Jackson at The Daily Rectum ( Real Arseholes Read The Rectum). Jackson is persona non grata at Celtic Park and Lennoxtown. He is barred sine die. Give pause […]

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Liquidation

Liquidation

“Liquidation? Yes I said it!” to paraphrase one of my favourite comedians, Chris Rock. It’s a word that seems to be proscribed in the SMSM. There were gasps of surprise when Gordon Waddell veered from the Level 5 script to assert that Rangers did not exit administration. In a previous article Mr. Waddell, when pressed […]

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A History of Corruption

A History of Corruption

I have sources that run as deep as the corruption at Ibrox. The information I’m about to impart to you has been a closely guarded secret since 1988, when David Murray acquired Lawrence Marlborough’s 52% stake in RFC (1L). If this is not an exclusive, then by all means refer me to the section in […]

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Unraveling The Cardigan

Unraveling The Cardigan

As The Cardigan dropped in for a smorgasbord of biscuits with Tea Jenny Jackson, whose pallor is more analogous to Long Island Ice Teas than any Twining’s confection, no expense was spared with the comestibles. Jackson set up his side plate  with Oreo in goal, a staunch back four of Bourbon Creams, box to box Custard […]

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A Generation of Celtic Dominance.

A Generation of Celtic Dominance.

The Cardigan is always good value for The Daily Rectum (Real Arseholes Read The Rectum). In the second part of his exclusive with Keith Jackson he passed the custard creams. It was inch perfect, cutting a swathe through the tea cups, awaiting a Bourbon to go head to head with the advancing Oreo. But alas […]

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Mark Warburton: Football Ingenue

Mark Warburton: Football Ingenue

Prior to outlining the main thrust of this article which will pertain to David Low and Walter Smith engaging in a funding tug of war, I take pause to discuss the curious wager of Albert Kinloch. Mr. Kinloch placed a £100 wager that Rangers would be relegated with Coral at 2,500 to 1. When he […]

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The Loan Rangers

The Loan Rangers

Prior to publishing this article I take pause to acknowledge that this site will have earned 9,000,000 hits by midnight tonight, which is no mean feat for one man in exile. However this site’s success would not be possible without the support of my generous sponsors, the readers, and their ever eloquent comments that as […]

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New Media

New Media

The pressures on social media are often as onerous as they are in the traditional print genre.  Most organs are vehicles for ‘above the line’ marketing. This is readily apparent in titles such as Metro and The Evening Standard which are free at the point of distribution. There is a premium to be paid for […]

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The Emperor’s New Clothes

The Emperor’s New Clothes

The Emperor’s New Clothes is a short tale by Hans Christian Andersen about two weavers who promise an emperor a new suit of clothes that they say is invisible to those who are unfit for their positions, stupid, or incompetent. When the Emperor parades before his subjects in his new clothes, no one dares to […]

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Dear JJ-King’s Flush

Dear JJ-King’s Flush

Dear JJ, Greetings from a pineapples and beans (wet & windy) Chalfont St. Giles. I do my utmost to maintain my Christmas cheer despite some doorstepper from Oxfam suggesting that I refer to Yuletide as a Winter Festival? Has the world gone mad to appease the latest Nigerian Hill Tribe that has settled on our […]

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The Thief Football Writer

The Thief Football Writer

Should I be flattered when Martin Williams of The Herald takes my exclusive of four days ago (JJ passim: Show me the money!) and reproduces this: “Rangers chief’s South Africa investment firm in deal to sell off most of its financial services wing.” Did Williams think that no-one would notice his unabashed plagiarism? Think again. […]

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Bring Me The Head of John James

Bring Me The Head of John James

I received the following from a trusted source. He marked it not for publication but I chose an excerpt to assuage the criticism of the pedants who question the veracity of everything I publish; and to inform  what can best be described as ‘the klan’ that I am on to them. Furthermore I have a […]

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Get Assange

Get Assange

The next time one is in the mood for some theatre, some high farce, there is no need to call the box offices of Shaftesbury Avenue or visit the scalpers in Swiss Cottage. Just swing by the Ecuadorean Embassy in Knightsbridge for a performance of the Metrpoloitan Police’s finest in a £5m per annum production […]

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A Complaint to the FCA.

A Complaint to the FCA.

I submitted the following complaint to The Financial Conduct Authority. I will publish their response as soon as they revert to me. I chose not to disclose my address due to the threat of recriminations by Mr King’s underworld contacts: “David Cunningham King procured information that was hacked by William Stevenson from a secure database for […]

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Exile

Exile

One of my former friends, who is a mason and a retired police officer, wrote to me via a joint friend, to inform me that he had intelligence that a group of thugs were planning to amputate my fingers. They were also planning to attack those that they perceived are close to me, including my […]

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Pop Goes The Weasel

Pop Goes The Weasel

Up and down the City Road In and out the Eagle That’s the way the money goes Pop! goes the weasel. My exclusive on King’s sale of his trading division to a New York OTC boiler shop did not play well with the JJ dissidents who I banished from this site for being trolls. One […]

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Show Me The Money!

Show Me The Money!

In my first exclusive of 2017 I can reveal why our Dear Leader was not present at Ibrox on Saturday. He was hiving off his trading division at Micromega. That would be the same division that was blackballed by the six major South African clearing banks  due to dodgy Dave putting some bent software their […]

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The Vanguard of Stupidity

The Vanguard of Stupidity

I rarely venture onto the social media sites which focus on Rangers as their dehumanising use of ‘bheasts, fenians, taigs and tarriers ‘ does not make for engaging reading. There is little spark in their one-eyed mono-browed diatribes other than from their signet rings being dragged along ‘The Queens Highway.‘ Is it not peculiar how The […]

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A Despised Sub-Culture

A Despised Sub-Culture

“Property and religion lie at the root of the three great upheavals, the Ulster plantation, the Cromwellian confiscation, and the Williamite settlement, which fashioned the pattern of 18th Century Ireland.”  John Brady and Patrick Corish, The Church Under the Penal Code vol. 4 (Dublin: Gill and Macmillan, 1971). Due to an inordinately successful 11+, I […]

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Unbeatable,Unstoppable, Uncatchable – Unassailable

Unbeatable,Unstoppable, Uncatchable – Unassailable

The grumpy old men at the SFM (Slow, Foolhardy, Moribund) have so much time on their hands that they like to drop by this site, castigate, and then run behind the voluminous skirt of Big Pink. The title of this piece was taken straight from the Sky Sports coverage and even though the pedants will […]

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