Captain Awkward

#1003: “Getting married in 30 days and the parent drama is making me wish we’d eloped.”

#1003: “Getting married in 30 days and the parent drama is making me wish we’d eloped.”

Dear Captain Awkward, My wedding is in a month.  There is new parental drama that makes me wish we were eloping.  How do I still enjoy my wedding? Fiancée and I are introverts and did not want a huge wedding.  My parents do not understand why we would not want 300 guests (despite numerous attempts […]

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#1002: “My boyfriend doesn’t believe in my dreams.”

#1002: “My boyfriend doesn’t believe in my dreams.”

Dear Captain Awkward, What do you do if your significant other thinks that you will go no where with your dream? My boyfriend is a well known, local photographer. He does mainly fashion photo-shoots and is honestly, very talented at what he does. I’m newly, discovering modeling. I had tried it before when I was […]

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#1001: “Let’s open up our marriage so I can sleep with this really untrustworthy person!”

#1001: “Let’s open up our marriage so I can sleep with this really untrustworthy person!”

Dear Captain Awkward, Recently, my husband and I have been talking about taking a step to be more open in our relationship. We had made attempts to do this before, but we sort of jumped in without enough discussion and then had to pull back because if something hadn’t been explicitly outlined for him as […]

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This is question #1000.

This is question #1000.

I know people have been anticipating what I will answer for reader question 1,000. Thanks for the emailed suggestions and the hype, it’s awesome that people are excited! Milestones are cool! It’s also way too much pressure and I’ve started answering people privately the past week or so because it’s like “Well, this is a […]

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Munich Meetup, July 27

Munich Meetup, July 27

From Fia, your host: Hi Captain Awkward! Just wanted to notify you about a meetup in Munich that we planned for Thursday the 27th of July at 6:30 pm. We are going to meet at the same place like last time. The PotAsia Ost. It is in Berg an Laim, Baumkirchnerstr. 21. More details and […]

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Don’t date Nazis!

Don’t date Nazis!

The wonderful Miss Conduct at the Boston Globe answered a letter about a pair of sisters, one of whom is dating a dude who has a Nazi flag in his room. She nailed it: “…the thing about Nazis is, they are a great place to draw the line…” Let me add a script: “Sister, your fucking […]

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#999: “Where’s [Spouse]? Is he avoiding us?”

#999: “Where’s [Spouse]? Is he avoiding us?”

Hello Captain Awkward, I have an ongoing issue that I hope you can help me with, perhaps in the form of a script. I have been married for 24 years. Our marriage is far from perfect but we have worked out some of the major kinks. So here is the issue. My husband is an […]

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“Actually, it’s a tabard.”

“Actually, it’s a tabard.”

Y’all. Y’all. I am howling at this story of Jenny Slate’s terrible blind date. HOWLING. Like, lmk when you get to the phrase “[metal clanking noises]” if you’re not ded of laughing by then. It’s very funny and well told, because she is funny and a good storyteller (and because it doesn’t end with her […]

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#998: “My Very First Dick Pic:” A horrible coming-of-age story

#998: “My Very First Dick Pic:” A horrible coming-of-age story

Dear Captain Awkward, I would like some advice on how to deal with this. Let’s start in the beginning. It was the beginning of the school year (8th), when a boy asked for my number. (We will call him Earl) I gave it to Earl only to wait for practically half the school year until […]

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#997: Anxious Parents & Freeing Yourself From Constant Contact

#997: Anxious Parents & Freeing Yourself From Constant Contact

Dear Captain Awkward, I did not grow up in a house that did conflict- I joke (but not really) that I wish my parents had fought in front of their children. Because there was never an emphasis on healthy conflict, all conflict equals bad conflict. While I feel that I can talk to my dad […]

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#996: “The Palette Wife”

#996: “The Palette Wife”

Dear Captain Awkward, An anniversary is coming up, but I am so frustrated with my husband! When I met him, I looked a certain way (i.e. hair length, weight, etc.). I used to be a fitness instructor and went to the gym in my spare time, all the while juggling multiple jobs and trying to […]

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#995: Reassuring abusive parents? (It’s a trap!)

#995: Reassuring abusive parents? (It’s a trap!)

Slainte, Captain! I have a weird family question that I couldn’t find an answer to, so I turn to you. I’m 30 years old, raised by my mom and my stepdad. Hopefully brief context: my stepdad and I have never got along. There were many instances of emotional abuse – he’s the kind of guy […]

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#994: “Feeling stuck and indecisive in every aspect of my life.”

#994: “Feeling stuck and indecisive in every aspect of my life.”

Dear Captain, For nearly two years I have been rolling around in the same low-level but wearing problems like a pig in my own muck, and it’s got to the point where I think I’m the problem – in two ways. One, I keep having the same problems over and over, and not managing to […]

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July London meetup

July London meetup

Edit: I can’t find Cthuhlu, so am bringing BB8 instead, see below. Royal Festival Hall, Southbank Centre, SE1 8XX near Waterloo station, 22nd July, 12 noon onwards.  Please note slight change of location, same as last month – Green Bar rather than Blue, e.g. same thing as the previous location but the opposite side. Also […]

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#993: “Every day is ‘take your kids to work day’ for my boss.”

#993: “Every day is ‘take your kids to work day’ for my boss.”

Hello, nice readers! Let’s take the intensity down 10,000 notches today. Hey Cap’t! I’ve been scouring the Captain Awkward archives for advice regarding my current work predicament and couldn’t find an answer so I’m writing to you for your help. Any advice would help! I’ve been at my job at a small private consulting firm […]

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#991: How do I keep my dreams alive over the naysaying of my family?

#991: How do I keep my dreams alive over the naysaying of my family?

Dear Captain Awkward, I am working towards going on a year-long trip around the world. Besides the fact that it’s just this dream I’ve always had, I’m doing this for a few reasons. 1) I hate my life where I’m living and who I’ve become. It’s nice enough, if you’re already married with children. But […]

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#990: Living in a tourist city, feeling like a hotel.

#990: Living in a tourist city, feeling like a hotel.

Dear Captain Awkward, I recently moved with my partner to a very popular area for tourists. We’ve encountered an issue with friends and acquaintances who visit to view the area, not necessarily visit us. We end up financially supporting their visit… including parking costs, gas money, wear and tear on the car, and groceries. They […]

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#988: “How do I have the ‘is this a real relationship?’ talk with someone without messing up the relationship?”

#988: “How do I have the ‘is this a real relationship?’ talk with someone without messing up the relationship?”

Dearest Captain, I’ve been dating a person for almost 3 months, and he is terrific and lovely. Sexy stuff is also ding ding ding jackpot!!!. I’m at the point where I would like to have a low-stress check-in about how we’re both feeling regarding exclusivity and commitment. I know we’re both currently not seeing anyone […]

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