Change found me. It sought me and left me in pieces. In a slow revelation, after the dust settled, I felt the desire to see what was new. It was a reluctant revealing. It took trial and error, mistakes and almost successes for the pieces to find a place again. At first I tried just […]Continue reading
Wisdom in the Broken
The first time I heard these words, tears poured down my face. For two beautiful minutes I let the rhythm wash over me. This is what healing is. It is seeing it all together, the good, bad, happy and sad. Seeing the trauma of a moment and the delight in the next. It is when […]Continue reading
Summer is Sarah’s. There is little that reminds me more of her than green grass, bathing suits and the smell of sunscreen. I hear the laughter of my two girls running through the sprinkler and dancing to music. In my mind I see where she would be and what she would love; long summer […]Continue reading
In the midst of it all you, the nurses, were there.Continue reading
We can make it a bit better. It is no secret that a small kindness can make all the difference. We can freely give towards others and choose to respond with tenderness even if we do not understand the struggle they live with.
In honour of our pain, in honour of all people wishing for something impossibly out of reach.
Be Kind.Continue reading
On April 6th, in honour of Robyn’s birthday, her mother Marina will be running 18 km to raise awareness and funds for pediatric cancer research. “On April, 6, 2016, the day that should have been my daughter Robyn’s 18th birthday, I will be running the 18kms from her resting place to our home. Robyn was […]Continue reading
I had left the anger unchecked for too long. I knew it was there, but I didn’t want it to be true.Continue reading
For 2016 I plan on being imperfect. I aim to be a mess. Anxiety grief and doubt will be a part of this year. There will be no hiding from the state I am in. There will be no glossing over weaknesses. These parts have been hiding in the shadwos for fal too long. I will take all the parts of me, everything that makes me who I am and bring it with me as I navigate life.Continue reading
Holidays are hard. There is no way around that for me. The celebrations somehow highlight the empty space. I want to join in on the festivities. I smile, laugh and join in, all the while my heart aches for another time when Sarah was beside me. I am reminded of time passed and another celebration missing someone I love. Time moves quickly and a deep grief settles on me. The intensity of grief is magnified by the distance time creates.Continue reading
It was the worst day of my life. Karsten will tell you the fear and pain that crossed my face echoed the immediate fear and heartbreak I felt. In reality its not true; the worst day of my life hadn’t happened yet. I think I have uttered those dreadful words, four times now. Each time the depth of pain reaches a new torturous level.Continue reading
There is one part of my heart that is yearning for heaven and another that dwells fully on this earth and I am somewhere inbetween.Continue reading
This past month I have been sharing stories of families affected by childhood cancers. Each story was offered a unique perspective. After reading the stories and looking at my own experience I compiled a list of 10 ways that you can make a difference for a family dealing with pediatric cancer. 1. Prayer and positivity. […]Continue reading
In that final week I began to see what it meant to live life in the moment. I could not plan for Sarah’s future. The moments I had with her were possibly the last. Each kiss, word spoken and goodbye were dripping with intention and meaning.Continue reading
As a mother I just wanted to protect him, cuddle him, and take away all his pain, but I could not. I felt helpless. When we decided to have a kid – having a child sick in this way is something we did not ever imagine and of course did not prepare for. I guess nothing can prepare you for it anyway.
But here we are, AND HERE AARYAN IS, a year later, which we are so humbly grateful for.Continue reading
” I grieve all the things she will never do or see. All the “after we get through this” plans we will never fulfill. That someone so beautiful inside and out should be taken so young & spend their last year going through so much. I grieve that I will never again hold her, hug her, tell her I love her, hear her boisterous laugh, see her beautiful face, listen to her chatter, and do all the things that mothers and daughter do. I do not miss the emotional rollercoaster of hope & despair, of pain & relief, of worry & knowing of watching my child suffer & being powerless.”Continue reading
While Tracey and Lucas face so many unknowns in his journey with cancer, Tracey’s willingness to embrace the people around her shows her strength. She often talks about her new family, the family brought together by cancer. The understanding that is shared between parents and children is a much need support. In the morning on […]Continue reading
…knowing my son has the c word, (cancer), that he is in for the fight of his life. I don’t think we will ever be the same again.Continue reading
September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month. Now that we have been so greatly affected by childhood cancer, I want to help bring awareness to the issue. In the next few weeks I will have the honour of introducing several families who have been greatly affected by childhood cancer. My hope is that in reading their […]Continue reading
It is the kind of moment that put my life in slow motion. Each step became heavy and each breath was forced out. In those breathes, everything else fell away and seemed so insignificant. I knew I was going to go through the unimaginable and there was no going back. This was no bad dream and I would not wake up.Continue reading
To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.
Mary OliverContinue reading