Musings of a Birthmom

I Can See the Horizon 

I Can See the Horizon 

Sleep found me easily and peacefully. I usually suffer from insomnia and will lay awake for hours praying that slumber will come upon me. A peace I’d never known before washed over me as all of my children were under my roof in the same place at the same time. The people I value and […]

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Kansas and the Gospel of Adoption

Kansas and the Gospel of Adoption

Originally posted on velvet bocephus:
? As a “birth” mother (natural mother), I want society, but more importantly the Church to see into the window of our world. In the wake of the Heritage Academy graduation refusal and shaming of pregnant senior Maddi Runkles, I feel its an opportune time for society to also see a glimpse of what many other pregnant…

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The Promise

The Promise

I told myself I wouldn’t cry. I didn’t want to scare her. I didn’t want her to think this stranger was emotionally unstable. Then I worried if I didn’t let myself cry she’d think maybe I was emotionally inept.  I changed my shirt 3 times. I was about to change it a fourth time when […]

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Operation Matthew 6:25-34

Operation Matthew 6:25-34

Welcome to one of the most coercive pre-adoptive stories you will ever read. Take a seat and prepare to look through a “story book” that defines coercion and duress in expectant mothers. I almost titled this post “Faces of Adoption Coercion: Level Infinity.” Meet Tuesday Laine Watson and her husband, Josh. Tuesday is very young, […]

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Five More Days

Five More Days

5 more days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  It’s been 5,364 days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  5 more days.  5,983 days since you were born.  Just. 5. More. […]

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Open Adoption and Playing God

Open Adoption and Playing God

Originally posted on velvet bocephus:
Another birthday has come and gone. Each year, it feels like that baby, MY baby, becomes more of a stranger. I dreamed of her my entire childhood. I carried her for 41 weeks, labored with her for 36 hours, and held her tightly against my chest in our remaining 32…

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Independent Adoption Center Goes Belly Up Without Warning

Independent Adoption Center Goes Belly Up Without Warning

Yesterday and today, without warning, hundreds, maybe thousands, of prospective adoptive parents checked their email and found that the adoption agency they had been working with (see: paying) was no longer in business. Some were near the end of the adoption process and already have children in their homes and are just waiting on finalization, […]

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Domestic Adoption Support Network; Tim Elder, Melissa Kay Robinson and the Conflict of Interest in Support Groups

Domestic Adoption Support Network; Tim Elder, Melissa Kay Robinson and the Conflict of Interest in Support Groups

*Edit* I am by no means upset by my exclusion from this group. I AM upset that when I questioned the appropriateness of Melissa acting in the capacity of admin and gave my reasons why my comments were deleted and I was blocked (see silenced). I figured if they wouldn’t give me an answer in […]

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Heart to Heart Adoptions; Andy and Melissa Moore; The Taking of Ja’Meka

Heart to Heart Adoptions; Andy and Melissa Moore; The Taking of Ja’Meka

Oh look.  How could it be? Another father’s rights being trampled on by a Utah adoption agency.  Who would have imagined? Can you taste the sarcasm? If this is your first time visiting the dark underbelly of the adoption Interwebs, you may not understand.  Utah is infamous for it’s unethical and immoral adoption laws that […]

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Catelynn & Tyler of MTV’s Teen Mom – A Lesson in Reality

Catelynn & Tyler of MTV’s Teen Mom – A Lesson in Reality

“Bethany was really supportive of me. They helped me answer any questions or any worries that I have, they taught me about grief and how to go through that; just kind of show me that I’m the person who makes my adoption plan. I’m the person that makes it look how I want it to […]

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Victoria: A Call To Action for the SOS Network

Victoria: A Call To Action for the SOS Network

I’d like to tell you a story. A story about resilience, courage, love, redemption and faith. A story a little bit shocking, a lot sad, a little sensational, but filled with a lot of hope.  Let me introduce you to Victoria. From the tender age of eight years old, Victoria has been a victim of […]

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In Loving Memory of Gwendolyn Archard

In Loving Memory of Gwendolyn Archard

On August 26, 2016 I heard the news that a dear first mom friend of mine was no longer with us. The previous day, beautiful Gwen had decided that the pain was too much and bowed out of this circus called life. Just before her decision, she deleted dozens of her first mom friends. I […]

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Dear Aly’s “Birthmom”

Dear Aly’s “Birthmom”

Dear Aly’s “Birthmom,” This is how you are referred to in Aly and Josh Taylor’s blog, but you are not “their” birthmom. You don’t belong to them. You are Genevieve’s first mother. You are also the mother to the little girl you just gave birth to. Please don’t let anyone tell you any different. I […]

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My Adoption Memoir – Whispers of Grace

My Adoption Memoir – Whispers of Grace

A little over a year ago I began to write the first book in a series of memoirs that I intended to release. I entitled this series, “Whispers of Grace.” The first draft was pretty horrible. I wanted to gain honest feedback and constructive criticism so I released the draft for a few short days […]

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Legally Enforceable Open Adoption Contracts in the United States

Legally Enforceable Open Adoption Contracts in the United States

*Disclaimer: I am not an attorney and nothing in this article should be substituted for legal advice. I highly suggest any expectant mother who is considering adoption to retain her own legal representation who understands adoption law in the state that the adoption will be finalized as well as the state she lives in. This […]

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Short & Sweet

Short & Sweet

It’s been some time since I’ve updated here at Musings of a Birthmom. This will be a short, sweet, personal update to explain my absence – for anyone who should care. My husband had back surgery about 3 weeks ago and his recovery was more than anticipated. He’s required a heavy level of care-giving that […]

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To The Mothers; Hope and Peace on Mother’s Day

To The Mothers; Hope and Peace on Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to you. Yes, you. For nine months you grew a tiny human being inside of you, but it’s so much more than that. You nurtured your child every time you made the decision to forego that glass of wine and to eat healthy foods. You protected your child – at every doctor’s […]

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In My Dreams

In My Dreams

I obsess. That’s what I do. Fear is something that is always a part of my life and I have struggled long and hard, for so many years, decades really, to not let it control me. Alas, it sometimes wins in the end. I have waited so many days, months, years, to see her again. […]

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